Inkling 2023 - Flipbook - Page 24
Egyptian
pray the fajr prayer; read the arabic books; memorize one hundred
arabic words; pray in the right tongue so you don’t bleed like a whitewashed mess; fast in the right tongue so you don’t feel like a hungry
mess; rise like the turquoise water of Hurghada; rise at 7 a.m.; rise like
the blue lotus and sunny chrysanthemums; here’s how to fold the phyllo
into sun wedges; here’s how to cut pistachios until your fingers are blush;
here’s how to work hard like your people; here’s how to work harder
than your friends; here’s how to work harder than your cousin’s friends
because we didn’t leave paradise to pay $30,000 so you can go to school
and be average; here’s how to fold a hijab; here’s how to not look like a
terrorist; here’s how to stand up for yourself when the kid uses “muslim”
against you; here’s how to love your family; here’s how not to look gaudy;
here’s how to dress like a woman, for the man; don’t wear that much
eyeshadow, you’re asking for it; dress nicely so you don’t look poor; gold
bracelets and anklets from your dead relatives; here’s how to show that
you’re smart and not suspicious; when you see something in the street,
avoid eye contact and walk faster; remember, we don’t have the privilege
to help others; never complain to others about your life; Barbie dolls and
stuffed animals; don’t speak well of your life, people don’t want to hear
good things; here’s how to tell people you don’t ride camels to school;
here’s how to cope ten weeks premature; here’s how to cope with lazy
eyes; be nice to your twin brother because he’s all you have, be nice
to your younger brother because cross-eyes don’t give you friends; be
quiet because your voice is too loud; here’s how to honour your lineage
of the Pharaohs and Medusa; exotic, tan and beautiful and on the verge
of drowning in the Nile; here’s how to order hummus; how to make
authentic hummus; how to make hummus for the school potluck; how
to make grandma’s hummus; here’s how to visit your grandmother in
her white villa in Cairo; here’s how to cope with her death; eat some
kunafa during Ramadan; here’s how to make kunafa; make the custard
as white as skin; here’s how to pick the perfect mangoes (don’t forget to
smell them); here’s how to grocery shop when mama’s gone (but what
