Gay London Life | July '24 Edition - Magazine - Page 62
Topher
Talks
The roots of the Pride movement,
and supermarkets dominating the
in 1969, were intertwined with sex
parades. And if the presence of semi-
workers, members of the kink and
provocative imagery offends people
BDSM communities, and trans
who have come to visit our parades and
people. Ironically, these groups
community events – maybe they are
remain primary targets of abuse from
not as supportive as they would like to
both within and outside the queer
believe. If you can be upset by a man’s
Now that Pride Month is over, its time to
community. If you do not believe me,
buttocks in a jockstrap but do not bat
acknowledge the Fetish & Kink scene for Recon’s
just look at Twitter every June, July,
an eyelid at a cis woman in a thong, the
*iconic* Fetish Week London. There are multiple
and August when the “no kink at Pride”
issue is not the amount of skin exposed
reasons that this week is important, relevant, and
pick-Me’s start complaining about
– it is who is wearing the item.
special – but one thing I would like to touch on is
self-expression and criticising those
its importance in respect of the ‘No Kink at Pride’
in the community who dare to defy the
carnivals, festivals, and concerts
debate. A debate that I, personally, find incredibly
status quo.
where heterosexual people were
irritating and intellectually dishonest.
Obviously, there is so much more
I have attended countless
nearly nude, gyrating, and imitating
to the LGBTQ+ community than sex
sexual acts – and I was not offended.
and fetish. We know that, and everyone
I ENJOYED IT. Why? Because I went
knows that if they use their critical
to those events to immerse myself in
thinking skills. But the main issue is, our
other people’s culture. I did not go as
relationships with sex and fetish are
a tedious spectator expecting their
stigmatised, lied about, exaggerated,
culture and experience to be watered
and use to cause harm and damaging
down to suit my personal preferences.
misconceptions. I know this all too
I also did not assume after visiting
well, as the recipient of countless
these events that this is all that straight
waves of abuse and harassment for
people do and all that they stand for…
discussing sexuality and sex toys on
as it was just an example of self-
mainstream news and television. Pride
expression in the moment.
is a celebration of the fight for freedom
No, it does not mean that I
and diversity, including the celebration
advocate for public masturbation, sex,
of sexual freedom and diversity. By
or explicit BDSM activities outside
including kink, we project a sex-
of specifically designated events
positive message which challenges
and areas like Folsom, Darklands
the norms that often suffocate many
(Leatherpride), or Up Your Alley
of us in the mainstream. It also helps
Fair. When discussing these events
to challenge the taboo, encourage
honestly, we are referring to how
education about sex and consent, and
people dress, accessorize, and
advocates for broader acceptance of
display banners during parades and
diverse practices.
organized gatherings.
There is a monumental difference
So let us acknowledge and
between thinking, “I don’t want straight
celebrate kinksters this Fetish Week
people to believe our lives are just
London. Beginning on 30th June
about sex and dungeons,” and the
and culminating on 7th July with the
contrasting, “I want acceptance
iconic ‘Full Fetish’ party taking place
from straight people, so I’m willing to
in Electrowerkz on 6th July. For those
marginalise a significant part of the
of you who are not familiar with Fetish
queer community for a better seat
Week or RECON (the kink dating app
at the table.” I reckon if more people
company that operate this week) –
were honest with themselves about
check out the official Fetish Week
their own hang-ups with sexuality and
London guide to find out everything
their relationship with sex, we would
you need to know about events that
see more empathy and less ‘throwing
might work for you. Or, even if you just
community kinksters under the bus’.
wanted to find out a little bit about a
Assuring that the kink community
are present at community events and
especially at corporation-saturated
portion of our community which often
comes under fire.
And, if you ever need some
events like mainstream Pride parades,
advice or guidance on where to shop,
etc. is important to remind people
what to wear, who to visit, you can
that we do have a multifaceted and
always reach out to me via DM or by
sex-positive underbelly. Especially,
email and I’ll be happy to push you in
in events with banks, big brands,
the right direction.
topher@tophertaylor.co.uk
Follow my TikTok @TopherTaylor, Instagram @TopherTaylor
or X @HelloIamTopher for more.
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