FINAL TSTO Lesa Dec 14.pdf - Flipbook - Page 47
My child is gay
You might have always had a bit of a feeling about it or it
might come as a complete surprise.
Your child has just told you that he or she is gay.
You can’t control
your child’s sexual
orientation. It is not
caused by you and it
can’t be changed by
you.
You may feel shock, particularly if you have had no idea;
feeling like the child you have had all along has gone and
been replaced with someone else. You may feel guilt; that
you did something that caused your child to be gay. You
may feel angry, as though this is someone’s fault and you
want to find them and sort it out. You may fear for your
child’s safety, or fear that their life will be more difficult
because of being gay. You may not feel upset about it —
you may be OK with your child being gay. Or you may
come from a family where there is shame associated
with same-sex relationships and you are fearful of others
finding out. These feelings are common first reactions.
Sadness about their future and grandchildren may (or may
not) come later.
Why is my child gay?
There is no clear answer about why some people are gay,
some bisexual and others heterosexual. Sexual attraction
towards those of the same sex occurs naturally in all
human, and many animal, societies. One thing is certain
— it is not a choice children make. Almost all children are
raised as though they are heterosexual and their feeling of
‘difference’ is likely to be a slowly growing revelation, not
always welcome. Sexual attraction is fluid and can change
or develop over time: that is normal.
Telling parents and risking losing their love is the thing
that nearly all same-sex attracted young people fear most.
Research has shown that young people rejected by their
families at this point have a much worse time than those
who are supported . The first thing to remember when
you are told by your son or daughter that they think
they are gay is that you have a very brave child who
has chosen to take you into his/her confidence. They
deserve a hug for that at the very least.
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