FINAL TSTO Lesa Dec 14.pdf - Flipbook - Page 43
What’s love got to do with it?
Part of growing up and becoming an adult is forming your
first strong attachment to somebody else — somebody who
is not the parent! A young person’s first fall into love can force
a whole set of new questions for the family about how much
freedom they are allowed and how they manage their intense
new feelings.
Source: The Auburn Photovoice 2012 Project
Preparing young people for healthy sexually active
lives
Would our approach to sexuality education for our children be
different if we assumed it was our job to prepare them for happy, safe
sexual lives? Rather than trying to stop them having sex at all costs,
what if we asked ourselves:
What do they need to know to have happy sexual lives?
What are the choices that lead to them having more fulfilling
sexual lives?
What do they need to know to take care of their sexual health?
If you don’t know the answers to these questions (and many of us
don’t) then they probably won’t either. And it’s the absence of this
conversation with young people that leads them to take sexual risks.
Your child needs to know they do not have to have sex even if
they are truly-madly-deeply in love. It is their right and choice
to take their time, and in fact sex is better when you wait until
you feel ready (really! The research says that the younger you
are the more likely it is to be uncomfortable, and/or regretted).
And they need to know that not everyone is doing it, although
some are.
What’s good about sex?
If we acknowledge that sex can be a happy experience we
will be better able to ‘sell’ that it’s worth waiting for, rather
than something to rush into. If parents only talk about
the downsides of sex, like sexually transmitted infections
(STIs), then young people will switch off. If responsible
adults acknowledge what’s good about love and sex and
relationships then we can teach young people what to aim for.
It’s important that they are told somewhere along the line that
a sexual relationship can be a good and happy thing, and that
is worth waiting for the right conditions. The research tells us
that young people can have happy experiences of sex, without
negative consequences, if the conditions are right (see page
48, A checklist for young people: How do you know you
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are ready for sex?).
