FINAL TSTO Lesa Dec 14.pdf - Flipbook - Page 29
What parents can do
First of all remember that the very early messages you
send your children are powerful and set the foundations for
their values and understanding (so not talking about a topic
sends a strong message too). Fathers often talk about losing
their little girls as they begin to grow up — if you can find a
common interest this can help keep the connection alive.
Don’t stop offering physical affection to sons and daughters if
this has been a part of your relationship. They need you now
more than ever. Respect it if they turn you down, but keep
offering.
Your children may want to know what you think is a ‘good’
age for beginning relationships is. Start conversations about
the pros and cons of having a boyfriend/ girlfriend. Don’t
assume they will want a relationship with the opposite sex.
Listen to what they think and tell them what you believe too.
Revisit the how-to-make-a-baby conversation. Make sure
they know that a girl can get pregnant if they ‘do it’ standing
up, during a period, the very first time they have sex, even
if they pull out ‘in time’.
Make sure they know who they can talk to about
embarrassing personal ‘stuff’. Discuss with them who they
would talk to if they needed an adult’s ear but were reluctant
to come to you.
Normalise that we are all different and many expectations
around gender aren’t realistic or healthy. Give open and
positive messages about gender and what it means to be a
boy or a girl.
Young people of this age also need practical information and skills
related to sexual decision-making, and how alcohol affects those
choices.
Remember that although schools provide some sexuality education,
this will vary from school to school.
Explore together where you can find good, simple information on
sexual health, relationships and choices.
Take a deep breath and start to think about talking about sex, not
in a ‘when you grow up and get married and make babies’ kind of
way, but about your child’s first experience of sex. By the end of high
school about 50% of young people have had sexual intercourse, and
a greater number are sexually active (meaning having close sexual
touching, and/or oral sex).
The average age for first sexual intercourse is 16 and many
14 year olds are beginning some kind of up-close sexual
contact.
Don’t stop offering
physical affection to
sons and daughters.
They need you now
more than ever.
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