FINAL TSTO Lesa Dec 14.pdf - Flipbook - Page 26
It’s good for boys and girls to know what’s happening for each other.
Acknowledge that it can be tricky when people are at different stages,
e.g. that boys and girls may start having crushes which can change
friendships, but that this is a natural part of growing up.
Don’t assume that the talks you have already had have stuck. You
will need to go over topics (in fact it’s the best way to create open
communication).
School programs can help to normalise this growing and changing, so
that children who have started to develop are not singled out and made
to feel embarrassed or abnormal.
Discourage homophobic comments like ‘that’s so gay’. See page 23 for
tips.
Normalise same-sex couples and same-sex attractions.
Explain that who you are attracted to now doesn’t necessarily determine
who you will be attracted to in the future, i.e. having a crush on another
boy doesn’t make you gay, but if you are that’s okay too!
What do I do when … my 11 year old has been looking at porn?
20
Don’t panic. A one-off look at porn is not uncommon. While you may
prefer it didn’t happen, children are curious, and it can be exciting. So we
don’t need to make them feel ashamed or really bad about doing this.
After you have calmed down, try to turn it into a ‘teaching moment’. Tell
them you don’t like it because this is one kind of sexuality that is best left
for adults. And it gives children a wrong idea about what sex is, too. If it’s
violent porn then you need to reinforce that any violence between people
is wrong.
ANSWERING TRICKY QUESTIONS: 9 TO 12
How do I explain sex beyond ‘making babies’?10
When people are older their sexual feelings can get even
stronger and sometimes they want to share those feelings
with someone else. People have sex to show love and
affection. Sometimes a man and a woman have sex to
makes babies. People also have sex because it feels nice
and exciting.
Some people call having sex ‘making love’ because it is a
way you can share very strong important private moments
and feelings with another person. It is something for older
people to do, not children. When a man and a woman
have sex, it does not always
make a baby — that only
happens if the man’s sperm
and the woman’s egg are in
the right place at the right time.
And contraception?
Sometimes a man and a
woman want to have sex,
but they do not want to make
a baby. There are special
medications (not just any
medicine does it) they can get
from the doctor that will stop
the sperm and egg joining up.
