FINAL TSTO Lesa Dec 14.pdf - Flipbook - Page 25
At age 9 or 10, children may begin to feel attracted to other
people. This might be played out in ‘who loves who’ games, and
some children will be very interested in having boyfriends and
girlfriends. Of course many children will have no interest of this
kind. Some children will be curious about body parts and enjoy
showing theirs to their friends. This isn’t sexual contact, more
show and tell, and normal between friends of similar ages.
Friendships will be the most important concern in
playgrounds at lunchtime, and children often enjoy learning
skills for how to get on with each other.
As children turn 10 and 11 they often worry with thoughts such
as, ‘Am I normal?’ Girls worry about breast development and
periods, as well as getting on with friends and family. Boys often
ask about penis size, wet dreams (‘How will I manage it?’),
erections and getting on with friends and family. Nearly one in
two boys experiences temporary swelling of the breasts during
puberty. Both boys and girls will often wonder if it is normal to
masturbate (the answer is yes). These are very embarrassing
questions to ask, so do not necessarily expect that children will
raise the topic; leave books around, and tell stories about your
own puberty.
One of the strongest
feelings will be the
desire to blend in.
One of the strongest feelings will be the desire to blend in.
The changes that they are experiencing, or they are watching
their peers go through, are enough to make any child feel selfconscious. In addition to this is their new ability to critically
compare themselves (and their family) with the rest of the world.
Children may become aware of first sexual feelings for children
of the same sex. If a child senses disapproval of same-sex
attraction from family and society they may feel forced to hide
crushes for people of the same sex.
Some children will have an interest in expressing their sexuality
in dress and may need guidance on dressing to suit their age.
What parents can do
Start talking about puberty-type issues at age 9. It can be
reassuring for children to learn when their family members
started noticing changes in themselves. Telling your children
when you went through puberty can give them a clue about
when it will start for them. Talk about how you felt, and how
you managed periods or wet dreams. Tell your children any
funny stories you can remember about this time in your life.
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