FINAL TSTO Lesa Dec 14.pdf - Flipbook - Page 20
Some of these dilemmas are very complicated and you might
need to make a list of your thoughts to help you decide on the
path to take. There are no correct answers so finding what is
right for you and your family is the aim. And of course you can
(and probably will) change your mind as circumstances change.
Children are not devoid of sexuality. They have their own brand
of sexuality that corresponds to their age and stage of life. They
will also have an adolescent sexuality that is normal and good
and healthy. Going through these stages will help them enjoy
their adult sexuality.
A person’s sexuality, much like their personality, is assembled
over the years from different components: the brain and
body’s natural growth and development; the experiences
of the child; and the way the child ‘reads’ the world.8 While
there are differences among children, there are general ages
and stages that children and young people go through.
Birth to 2
Sexuality for a baby is not like adult sexuality. Getting love
and affection is the start of learning to expect and have loving
relationships. They learn about the world through touch. Just as
babies enjoy playing with their fingers and toes, they will play
with their genitals too, because it feels nice.
While most of us have observed baby boys with erections,
people are often surprised to learn that baby girls’ vaginas can
lubricate. The jury is out on what causes causes these reactions
— it could be just a reflex.9
Many children will
touch their genitals
for comfort or
pleasure.
What parents can do
14
Start using the right names for body parts now: vulva, vagina,
breasts, nipples, penis, scrotum, testes. Babies hardly need a
biology lesson but it helps you, the parent, get used to saying
these words before they are older. Using the right words helps
avoid confusion. A table of the correct words and commonly
used words has been included on the following page.
