Lumen Winter 2018 - Flipbook - Page 9
Tiffany De Sousa Machado says she recalls
feeling isolated and alone at a time in her life
that should have been happy.
“I felt there was no structure in society to
support me, and my dream of becoming a
mum was just being shattered every day. We
live in a society that is not set up to support
parenting in a very useful way and it does not
hold parenting in esteem.
“I WENT TO SWEDEN TO
LOOK AT HOW TO IMPROVE
WOMEN’S LIVES AND
UNEXPECTEDLY I SAW
HOW MUCH MEN GET OUT
OF SHARED PARENTING.”
“Being a parent is something you do as
well as your career, which is held in esteem.
Parenthood is not revered in our culture
compared to other cultures.”
Post-natal depression affects around 16% of
women and can have a long-lasting impact
on a woman and her family.
As part of her combined PhD/Masters in
Psychology at the University of Adelaide,
Tiffany is looking at how older women
may struggle to find purpose following
menopause, retirement or when their
children are grown. Bringing the two groups
of women together can be empowering and
create a community that is beneficial for
emotional, mental and physical health.
“Ideally, in the future, retired people would
be able to assist new parents,” she said. “This
has benefits for both groups. This can really
cultivate a community feel and have people
connect with other people: not through the
medical industry or a structured program,
but just through being there for each other.”
Tiffany (centre) holding baby
Rumi, her partner James (left), his
ex-partner Dhyanna (right) and
Tiffany’s ex-husband Craig, along
with the children they collectively
raise: Winter, Cruz, Kaea and Faith
Photo by Russell Millard
Addressing inequalities is something that
motivates Tiffany. “We think we are equal in
our culture, but we’re actually not if you look
at how life pans out,” she said.
She also recognises the pressure on women
to be successful academically, professionally
and in motherhood. She believes that fathers
have an integral role to play and this is an
inequality that needs to be addressed by
challenging cultural norms about the roles
of mother and father.
“We’re doing everyone an injustice here
(in Australia) and one of my main aims is
to be an advocate for women and men in
terms of equal parenting and policy change.
A focus of my work now is about trying to
change policy to allow parents to share the
care of their infants.
“I went to Sweden to look at how to improve
women’s lives and unexpectedly saw how
much men get out of shared parenting. I
also realised how much men are missing out
here. When I asked the men in Sweden what
would happen if they didn’t get to have that
year with their child they would often well-up
at the thought of not having that time.”
Tiffany said her own family is structured to
provide a caring and nurturing environment
for all. “The way we have structured my
current family is completely against the
norm. I’m really good friends with my
ex-husband and my current partner’s ex.
We often hang out together, do Christmas
together and plan holidays away together.
In a society lacking ‘the village’ we make the
most of our network to support each other
and provide a caring environment for the
children. They are our priority.”
Tiffany’s scholarship allowed her to travel
and look at parenting in other cultures. She
reflects on her research in Sweden where
parents share care for their children, which
is good for the wellbeing of the mother,
father and child.
Alumni Magazine ~ Winter 2018
7
