The Ethanol Papers - Paperturn manuscript - Flipbook - Page 436
It's all because of biofuels, ethanol, and that dreaded "renewable fuel standard."
I'm shuddering in fear and anger.
Look, if the American renewable fuel mandate can't fix man-made global warming, and it impacts on home run totals, then it can't be good for our country. It's
bad enough when MPG production is called into question by blending ethanol
with gasoline, but messing with one of the most cherished aspects of our great
national pastime is just too damn much! That's right, I used the word "damn,"
because no other word so succinctly describes the outrage we must all share.
Wait, don't go away yet, I have more startling news: Some of the top deceptively
named organizations have come out to challenge the value of the renewable
fuel mandate. Yes, that's right, we have PECC (Persons for the Ethical Consumption of Corn) voicing their concerns. There's AHASC, raising heck over
this issue (AHASC, in case you don't know, is Americans Hanging Around
Street Corners - it's very big in Brooklyn where I grew up). Naturally, LAPWEC
(Let's All Pretend We're Environmentalists and Conservationists) is involved.
But the most vocal of all of the groups is OPUS TDT (Oil Pays Us To Do This).
REALITY CHECK TIME
For fun, let's say that man-made global climate change is real and that the consequences are as bad as the most extreme predictions. How would anything
we do in America reverse all the environmental damage being caused around
the world? So how can the renewable fuel mandate be held responsible for any
of this? How would a change from corn ethanol as the renewable fuel ingredient
to some poison made by the oil industry solve the problem? It wouldn't.
For double fun, let's say that man-made climate change is not real, or at least
not quite as consequential as predicted. Then maybe the renewable fuel mandate is not an effective solution to the problem because the problem doesn't
exist. You know, the world's greatest laundry detergent will not improve the results of plain warm water on an already clean shirt.
As for the organizations with the highfaluting names and acronyms, remember
that the Democratic People's Republic of Korea is not democratic and it's not a
people's republic. It's a tightly controlled dictatorship under the control of one
monster. If the dictator changed the official name of North Korea to Democratic
People's Democratic Republic of Democratic Korea, it wouldn't be anything
other than what it is. To paraphrase an old saying, a skunk by any other name
is still a skunk.
