Plymouth Magazine-Summer24-DIGITAL - Flipbook - Page 18
Lessons in Letting Go
By Kristen Boldt
This world can demand a lot from us. Every
day we are urged to do more, to be more, to
take on one more thing, to fill every hour
of our day in a grind for validation. The
world puts us in a box and each thing we
take on is like a stone added to that box.
One by one they may not seem that heavy,
but over time the collective strain puts
more stress on us as we try to find a place
for all the things everyone else wants from
us. As our bandwidth is shortened we are
left in survival mode just trying to keep up.
Over time, this box becomes our bunker
with walls of fear, scarcity, isolation, and
control. Eventually, these walls become
too high for us to see over making our
world even smaller and our vision more
myopic as we just try to survive. As we
shrink to this place it is easy to lose sight
of our true selves and our closeness to
God. When all of our energy is focused on
survival, on bearing the weight of holding
up the walls we’ve built, we can become
emotionally and spiritually isolated. Our
fragile box becomes our whole world.
But what if we could get out of our box?
What would life look like on the other
side of those walls? I think it would look
like a sphere. A sphere is the strongest
shape in nature. It has no weak points
(corners), it can expand and contract as
needed without losing the integrity of its
shape. It is flexible, adaptable, resilient
and responsive—the characteristics and
gifts we need to survive and thrive in a in
a world that is in constant flux, unstable,
unpredictable, and messy.
Think about your life, your values, your
needs, the essentials you need to be your
highest self. These are points on your sphere.
The connectors running between them
are your relationships. The health of all of
these elements determines the roundness
(health) of your sphere. Sometimes life
sends us dents (job loss, divorce, illness,
loss of a loved one etc.), but that doesn’t
mean that our sphere collapses because
there is always energy flowing from those
around us to help us respond and reshape.
Unlike the box, your sphere is not alone. It
is connected to the sphere of your family,
your work, your church, your community.
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The energy flowing to, through, and
between all of these spheres helps define
their shape. I think of this as God’s spirit,
as a beautiful, shimmering, golden light
pulsing and flowing through all of us if
we just take the time to climb out of our
box to see and feel it.
out. My belief that asking for help would
be an imposition or a burden on others,
that I needed to figure everything out
myself because help was for other people,
better people. I was creating more dents
and making myself smaller by my limited
thinking and stubbornness.
So, what would happen if we let go of the
stones and let the walls of our box fall away?
It can feel like a scary proposition. It may
feel like our whole world will fall apart if we
aren’t there constantly on guard, holding up
those walls with all our strength.
I was fortunate to have wonderful friends
who rallied around me and called me out.
As I was having dinner with two friends
and trying to come up with a plan to
ignore my doctor find a way to work from
home they very lovingly, and firmly, said
“No you’re not. You are going to let us help
you.” Friends across my sphere encouraged
me to, kindly, get over myself and accept
help. As one friend put it, our faith calls us
to wash each other’s feet and your friends
can’t answer that call if you are hiding your
feet. It was hard to argue with that.
Last year I learned what it feels like to let
go of my box. I started 2023 with an early
morning trip to the gym on January 4. As
I left, I hit a piece of ice and broke three
bones in my ankle. They had to wait a
week to do surgery to let the swelling go
down so by the time I could start rehab I
was 10 weeks no weight bearing. I couldn’t
leave my house without help. I couldn’t
drive. I was basically housebound for
two months. During this time, a friend
of mine came to visit one night and said
“you know, you’ve met your deductible so
you should get all your middle age tests
this year.” She had a point. I rarely get sick
so that makes it very easy to ignore routine
check-ups. So, once I was back on my feet
(so to speak) in the spring I went to my
oldest daughter’s college graduation and
then had my first physical in probably
five years. Have you noticed this lump?
Crap! The lump turned out to be breast
cancer and further tests identified a second
spot. I learned that if there are two spots
there are likely more than two which
would need a mastectomy on my right
side and 4-6 (unpaid) weeks off work.
Everything in my world was turned upside
down and it felt like all the walls of my
box were quickly crumbling down around
me. Broken bones and breast cancer had
punched some deep dents in my sphere
but those weren’t the only ones. Other
dents were being formed from the inside
When I chose to accept the call to let go,
rather than falling, I found that I was held.
By God, by my friends, by community. I
had never been alone. The love was always
there, the people were always there. God
was always there. But I had to let go to
see it. I had to get out of my box to see
that I had been in the sphere of God’s
love all along. The loving energy of those
around me helped me reshape and grown
stronger than I had ever been on my own.
When I let go, I found my path home.
My invitation is to you is to look around
you and see if you can see your spheres.
Who strengthens and support you? Who
is helped by the gift of your energy? Look
for the flow, whether you see it with
your eyes or feel it with your heart, it is
always there. In each one of us, waiting
for us. We are designed for community,
and we are stronger, rounder, together.
The Box tells us to fit in, to be who we
are expected to be, to do what the system
demands. The Sphere strengthens us to
be who we are meant to be, to contribute
the best of ourselves to the world and to
each other. Find your sphere.
About the Author
Kristen Boldt has is mom to two daughters, Emma and Shelby,
and she has been serving as one of our Stephen Ministers for the
last two years.
