MONO ISSUE 1 PDF FLIPBOOK - Flipbook - Page 13
PROOF OF LIFE
by Michael Boyd
I WOKE UP in my garden again last night. Standing. I don’t know how long I had been there. I
watched a streetlight beyond the wall flicker. It faded for a few seconds, then went out. The dull glow
of the bulb remained before it sprang back for another life cycle. I watched it die and then resurrect
itself twice before going to bed.
I’ve been sleep-walking for the first time in my life. I wake up in different places around my house,
but usually in the garden. Once, I was standing with my nose against the back wall, listening to the
neighbours having an argument. I’ve woken up at a drainpipe where rats were climbing into my roof.
I’ve woken up at my stove, where I had left one of the plates on after dinner. It’s as if my subconscious knows where something different is happening. (I’m glad it could only find a flashing
streetlight last night).
I never walked in my sleep as a child. Now I’ve started. I’ve thought about it a lot. Maybe it’s
because my life only exists within these four walls. My physical body can’t go out, and my mind is
limited to such a tiny space, so it takes my body for walks at night. (Like someone taking their dog for
a walk). For a different view. To see the world in a different shade. So that it can sniff out something,
anything, to experience outside of my normal day (normal?). And things do look different in the
garden at night.
I’ve watched everything there is to watch on television. I never thought I would say that I’m bored
of lying on the couch – I used to long for it during a busy day at work. I wrote down a list of the shows
and movies that I’ve watched. I stopped at number 243. I’ll start again when I don’t have anything to
do. And then I’ll add the ones I’ve watched since then. I’ve tried to read books, but they are so long.
I’m wondering how I ever got past the first page of a book before. Then, when I do build up the
stamina to turn over, the next page is even longer and by the time I’ve finished that, my mind is
wondering. Thinking about people I used to know. Or I fall asleep and wake up in the garden. The
other problem with reading is that I get words and phrases stuck in my head. They repeat themselves
and then I can’t sleep, and I keep picturing that word or sentence over and over again. Like the other
night – or was it day? – I was reading 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' (I thought it was apt) and the
last words I read haunted me for hours: “This is the great invention of our time.” “This is the great
invention of our time.” “This is the great invention of our time.” “This is the great invention of our
time.” “This is the great invention of our time.” “This is the great invention of our…” I ended up writing
it down under my list of shows and movies until I got up to number 1004.
But I did read something that caught my interest earlier today. It was an article talking about
keeping your mind busy when you feel isolated. It listed a number of crafts one could do in order to fill
time and mind-space. One of those was to build a kite. I imagined myself flying a kite, which was the
newest thought I had had for a long time.
So, that is what I am doing now. I just finished digging through my garage and found some old
newspapers. I have straws from the days of parties. I have glue, sticky tape and string. It is the most
excited I have felt in weeks. (Since the neighbours’ argument). I fashion the shape of a kite out of
straws, slowly pushing my nail into the end of each, so it bends inwards slightly, then fit it into the end
of another straw. I secure that with sticky tape. I make a cross. Then I connect the ends of the cross
with more straws. I’m deviating from the instructions in the article now, but that’s okay. I’m sure I’ve
done this before. I lay out the newspaper, put the kite-shape on it and draw around it. Then I cut out
the newspaper and glue it to the shape. A kite. Where do I connect string? At the bottom, or in the
middle of the cross? I’ll go with the middle of the cross. I have created. I am almost beside myself. I
13
