Minimalist Gossip Magazine Cover (49).pdf (13) - Flipbook - Page 87
PRE
PARATION
S
There is safety in numbers, in a plan; the reliable
rigidity of staged and static lists:
the things I need to buy, the arbitrary
goals I set myself each day, the books I read each year.
Measurements for an incalculable life, sideswiped by
insanity, and measurements for a calculable,
dependable death; a logical outcome to the weight
of memories which lie like someone else’s body upon
my own and remind me, in no uncertain terms, that,
no, it is no longer my own.
Find comfort in the final list. Note that twenty grams
of one and forty of another will suffice, that
opening two veins would seal the deal. Welcome departure.
Waking, I perceive my error. My mouth
severs itself from the brain feeding it instructions; for
days I reside within feelings bereft of expression.
My bewildered eyes speak for me, surprised.
They lie: inside I thank uncertainty, make friends with flaws.
I have slipped through a gap in the plan; arisen greedily
gasping for air.
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