Jumpline magazine OCT 2022-pages - Flipbook - Page 20
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Survivor Stories
Jack Swerdloff, Ret.
Jumpline Editor
Survivor Stories are articles in the Jumpline where
we will provide a chance to learn from the journey of
others. Many people get to enjoy a relatively easy
blessed life. But there are people among us struggling. Sometimes we all secretly know their plight,
sometimes we don’t. These stories are another way
to reach out to those who are struggling and help
them through the BrotHERhood of MDFR people that
have been there and done that.
Random thoughts about surviving tough times with retired
Captain Mike Carter and his wife, retired FF/DO Leslie Carter.
For this edition of Survivor Stories, I asked the Carters if they
would allow me to interview them to highlight the methods they
used to overcome tough times. Currently, I know it would appear to anyone that follows them, that they are living their best
life. But I also know of many dark, even almost deadly times,
they survived. And I’m impressed that those dark times did not
ruin their lives, their marriage, their children, or their careers.
During tough times your support network makes a difference:
To jump right into it, Leslie says Mike being so supportive was a
godsend looking back. At the time of her cancer battle, he was
her figurative punching bag. Tough memories to look back on
she says. She was angry. “Why me?” she thought. It enveloped
her daily. Their marriage almost didn’t survive the storm. Mike
admits it wore on him, even though supporting his wife was of
the utmost importance, he almost had more than he could take
at times. Leslie says she’s thankful that Mike persevered and
did his best to be supportive and loving. That helped her during
tough cancer times. Especially when her fear of dying from cancer along with anger and family discord were at an all-time high.
physically pulled Wayne out. All heavy memories
when your mind begins taking hold each night.
Most of us didn’t know the weight Mike carried.
He thought too often about how everyone he
knows was surely on borrowed time. That’s when
Mike started seeking help. Mike says he opened
himself up to believing in the story of Jesus. Retired Mike accepted the invitation of some friends
to join a men’s group at the local church. That was
the most powerful guide in his transformation after the loss of
his sister and father just after retirement, and all else that life
had given him.
Having the personal strength to change makes a difference:
Our history is clear. Some people get consumed by darkness.
Some people cannot dig themselves out without support. And
that’s a fact proven every year. I ask you to help those in need
climb out of the pit, because they may not make it out on their
own.
When Leslie lost her father to cancer, that’s when heavy drinking began. For almost 2 years Mike and Leslie say, when Mike
left for work on her CR, it was time for music, memories, and
unconscionable amounts of alcohol. Mike was worried about
her, but she didn’t care. It is how she let it out every 3 weeks
while he worked, and she was on CR. Then she said, with Mikes
prompting as well, “I’ve got to stop.” She told herself, “My dad
would not want this for me.” With determination, support and
drive LC broke that cycle.
Now the Carters are working on victories! Look at the surviving
and thriving Carters! …
Mike says there was a time in his life when it seemed that too
many people he loved had cancer. He had already experienced,
as an almost new MDFR guy at 26 years old, that his healthy
mom was diagnosed with cancer and just 4 months later she
was gone. Now as life progressed, cancer seemed to be everywhere. His wife, niece, late mother, father, father-in-law, and in
even his beloved dog had just passed from it. The support from
loved ones, and the BrotHERhood gave him the light to push
through many days. An integral part of surviving was a kind act
or word from an MDFR Brother/Sister. But as great as it was,
the support alone wasn’t enough. “Spirituality was the key,” he
says.
Spirituality and seeking God made a difference: On December 21st 2019, shortly after retirement, Mike’s sister Debbie
lost her long battle with cancer. In a twist of fate his father also
succumbed to his health issues on the same day. Happy and retired in his fifties isn’t how Mike felt on the inside.
He did not bounce back. He was not resilient.
From all of his losses he had a range of thoughts
and many of these worsened in retirement. Mike
remembers feelings of anger and destruction. “If
I buy a bike and I die, so be it. Life was over. Life
had no purpose. Depression and pending doom.
I’m 51 and I have nothing to look forward to.” The
hardest part of everyday was at night when the
mind gets thinking. August 8, 2003 was the day
MDFR Firefighter Wayne Mitchell died during a
training burn. Mike was one of the fire officers that
October 2022 | JUMPLINE Magazine
They used a tried-and-true weight loss program.
Then followed up with a 180-degree change in
eating to keep the weight off. Incredible to see
them in person. Alive and vibrant. Kudos to them,
doing it together and loving it. (After a weekend
stay at their place with my daughter, I learned so
much about food. Healthy eating is NOT BAD AT
ALL!)
Mike and Leslie have always been great friends.
I’m so happy they overcame their rollercoaster ride of painful family deaths, cancer scares,
