Gay London Life | April '25 Edition - Magazine - Page 46
Right, so it’s April. It is finally warm
‘learned helplessness’), choosing
enough outside to wear a t-shirt, I am
pleasure isn’t selfish. It is actually a
spray-tanned to a Lindsay Lohan in
form of resistance.
2009 shade, Grindr (after celebrating
Topher
Talks
Over the next few years, I
their 16th birthday recently – yes,
genuinely believe that queer sex is
we are old) have launched the ‘Right
going to be demonised all over again
Now’ feature, I have heard birds
- in the media, in politics, in everyday
singing… and everyone’s Instagram
conversation. Which is exactly why
stories are showing them relaxing in
we need to hold onto it even tighter.
the park, surrounded by a suspicious
To protect it. To celebrate it. To refuse
number of tinned M&S cocktails and
to be shamed for it, again. Some of
shirtless men. It almost feels like life
us might find ourselves questioning
is going back to normal… if you ignore
whether we should post anything
America’s terrifying descent into
remotely sexual, just in case we get
fascism and autocratisms, of course.
tarred with the queer-sex-shame-
But hey, I think, as queer people,
brush. Fuck that.
we deserve to cling onto any scraps of
And listen, I genuinely get it. It’s
joy as we witness the world turn us into
hard to feel sexy when everything
villains. Again. Again.
feels scary and uncertain. I find myself
Because that’s the exhausting
being so haunted by the news (I watch
truth of it, isn’t it? The news feels
I’ve Had It podcast’s IHIP News for
ominous and apocalyptic, the social
something left-leaning and in my tone
media algorithms have gone fully
- by the way, get on it) that I lose my sex
anti-LGBTQIA+, and I’ve been called
drive. And yes, that’s me saying that.
a paedophile about 50 times this
When algorithms are out for
month alone… just for daring to exist
blood, bigots are in Parliament and
in political comment sections while
exploding with popularity on social
being visibly queer.
media platforms, when rapists are
And yet, somewhere between
treated better than trans women,
doomscrolling and downloading FEELD
and when the vibe online is basically
for the fourth time, we’re still trying to
“1984 but with memes”… its increasing
feel good in our skin. Still existing. Still
hard. But that’s exactly why pleasure
flirting. Still wanting to explore pleasure
matters now more than ever.
- however ‘obscene’ that may seem to
Because there is nothing more
far-right dickheads who think queer joy
disruptive than queer people living
is a threat to the planet.
loudly, laughing, desiring, and posting
Spring is soft-launch season. For
our pleasure. Our boundaries. Our
little queer resets. And if that means
semi-naked selfies (if you want to)
without a shred of shame.
It all seems a little superficial,
blocking an ex, replacing an old
doesn’t it? But its not. It’s protest,
vibrator, treating ourselves to therapy,
visibility, and its survival.
or even just giving ourselves days off
Because if there is one thing
from checking the news - then DO IT.
history has taught us, it’s that queer
Because we can’t wait for the
joy doesn’t just survive under
world to be safe (because we really
pressure… it notably gets louder,
don’t know yet) before we allow
filthier, funnier, and more resilient. So,
ourselves to feel good. We deserve
please don’t shrink. Don’t apologise.
pleasure now. In our bodies, in our
Don’t let those fuckers wear you
friendships, in our Sunday afternoons
down – and they will try. And for the
half-naked on the sofa, watching
love of Alex Polizzi, don’t let anyone
re-runs of The Hotel Inspector (I’m gay
convince you that your pleasure is
but fancy Alex Polizzi, explain that?!)
anything less than powerful.
and also in not texting him back.
So, this April, I’m not pretending
We stand on the shoulders of
giants, who would be pleading with
everything is fine. It’s objectively
us to keep being ourselves right now.
not. But I’m going to force myself to
Don’t let the far-right, or any ‘pick me’
lean into joy anyway. Assert myself
queers who have aligned with them
with men, as usual. Kiss slowly. Use
(there will be LOTS, as there’s lost
the nicer lube. And it’s important to
of grift and appearance money in it -
remember, in a world that’s constantly
buckle up), shame or bully you out of
trying to wear us down (that is literally
expressing yourself exactly as teenage
the point of fascist propaganda: to
you would have dreamed of doing.
exhaust us into silence by ‘flooding
the zone’ – look it up and also look up
46
@tophertaylor
