Framlinghamian 2023-2024 Single page - web 144dpi - Flipbook - Page 117
WELLBEING
1-in-6, and for 17 to 19-year-olds it went
“Self-esteem is all about being loved for
from 1-in-10 to 1-in-6.
being,” Alicia explains. “Unconditional
love is the best thing you can give your
“Never has self-esteem and resilience
child, and you give that love when it’s not
been in such demand, and the parental
attached to ‘doing’ or prizes or rewards –
relationships we have with our children
in my opinion a lot of young people live in
are at the core of their self-esteem.
fear of failure, or only do something due
About 70% of our children’s behaviour
to the fear of consequences.
comes from ourselves as parents, so it’s
very important that the way we talk to
“To help our children’s self-esteem and
ourselves inwardly is positive and this
con昀椀dence, I encourage you all to involve
re昀氀ects outwardly to our children.”
children and young people in household
management – such as cooking,
Highlighting theories such as the
ironing, washing, being responsible for
‘Tolerance Window’ and the ‘Okay
cleaning their rooms and organising
Corral’, Alicia explained how when
their school bag. These are not chores,
our tolerance levels are pushed
these are things they need to know as
outside their limits, it activates hyper
teens and young adults so that you, as
arousal which in turn, as parents, can lead
parents, are reassured that they can live
to shouting, blaming, or criticising – and
independently and con昀椀dently. When we
when we do that too often our children
are con昀椀dent as a parent that our children
bear the brunt of it.
can do everyday life skills, that will boost
their own self-belief and self-esteem.
Linking this to the four parenting styles
– permissive, authoritative, neglectful,
“You should also practise healthy stress
authoritarian – Alicia also encouraged
copying strategies, not only for yourselves
the audience to discuss how a parent of
as parents but also as an example for
each style would react to their child who
your children – these could be meditation,
is struggling and how this would impact
exercise, healthy eating, music and art.
their self-esteem.
Everyone must have two that they do
each day and demonstrate to our children
Interestingly, Alicia also touched on
that self-care is self-esteem in action.”
intergenerational trauma and how our
Further information to help parents
experience from our own parents has
support their children’s mental health
a big impact on replicating behaviour
and wellbeing can be found from
when we parent our own children – often
Alicia, alongside a number of guests
passing down negative behaviours or
contributors, on The Wellbeing Hub,
self-esteem issues.
which includes weekly podcasts, live
Q&As, parenting webinars and advice
blogs.
115
