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the promise of the tea-gods
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Opening the car door for K, he helped her out. “Guinevere,” he said,
wrapping his arms around her, “why didn’t you send me the signal? I
would have come for you hours ago.”
“I know,” she said, looking into his eyes. “I know you would have.
But I was determined to hang in there as long as I could. The first half
of Binnie’s amazing day was quite a surprise, and even more surprising
was the man who wears a thousand masks.”
“It looks like it took a lot out of you. It must have been really intense.”
“There was so much conflict going on inside him—it was like being
in the middle of an energetic war-zone, and everything was all tangled
together. While he was laughing, he was also crying. While he was smiling, he was choking on sadness. What he wants, he’s terrified of having—and what he doesn’t want, he’s terrified of losing. How does
anyone live like that?” A tear slid down her cheek . . . “I really wanted
him to just let it all go and be happy, and it took everything I had to lift
him up for a few minutes—but my everything wasn’t enough.”
“Your everything is always enough, Guinevere—always.”
“Not this time. Before I got to the top of the stairs, I could feel him
crashing to the ground. I wanted to go back and lift him up again, but I
couldn’t. I was tapped out; I didn’t have anything left to lift him up
with.”
“It’s okay,” he said, holding her close. “It’s not your fault. He needs
to feel his feelings—all of them—before he can move forward; and
you’re the only one who can help him do that.”
“Did you know? Did you know it was going to be him?”
“Binnie didn’t tell me anything until a little while ago when he called
and asked me to meet you here. I can’t even imagine what it must have
been like for you, but everything is going to be all right.” Taking her
hand, he added quietly, “Let’s go find a place where we can be alone
for a while.”