Crockham Hill February 2025 Newsletter - Flipbook - Page 43
Last Word
An obituary (printed in The Times, London)
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, with
us for many years but now sadly departed. No one knows for sure how old
he was since his birth records were long lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't
always fair; maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge). His health began to deteriorate when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place: reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; a teacher fired for
reprimanding a persistently unruly student.
Common Sense lost further ground when parents attacked teachers for
doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their
unruly children. It declined more precipitously when schools were required
to give parental consent to administer sun lotion or aspirin to a student yet
couldn9t inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
have an abortion.
Common Sense began to lose the will to live when criminals received better
treatment than their victims. It took a further beating when defending
yourself from a burglar in your own home meant the burglar could sue you
for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up after a woman failed to realise that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was
awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, by
his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his three stepchildren: I want it now; I'm a victim; pay me
for doing nothing. Not many attended his funeral since so few realised that
he was gone. If you remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority
and do nothing.
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