The Inner Critic - Flipbook - Page 19
Arising from the choices we needed to make whilst still living in caves, we had to learn to quickly
discern and mitigate threat. Research reveals that the brain wiring to detect negative more quickly
than positive feedback begins to connect at about 12 months of age.
Think about how this plays out. If we have an argument with a loved one we will instinctively ruminate
far more on their aws than their positive qualities. If we receive a performance review we will chew
over the one piece of negative feedback, ignoring the other five positive pieces. We are checking for threat.
The critic is no dierent – it comes from that evolutionary wiring pre-programmed for threat seeking.
Fear of loss, rejection, belonging
Just as we are hard-wired to focus on the negative, all humans are hard-wired to seek safety, love,
belonging, connection and dignity. These are basic human needs still vital to our survival. The eld of
transactional analysis shows that by the time we are 8 years old, many of our core beliefs about who
we are, and how we need to be in order to live congruently are hard-wired into our neurobiology. By
the time we are 8 or so, we have worked out how we need to adapt our behaviour in order to be safe –
not excluded.
This then becomes another argument in support of the idea that the Inner Critic, far from trying to
diminish us, is actually trying to protect. Perverse I know but maybe by the end you’ll be gratefully
loving your critic!
19
