BBC premarital counseling booklet-1 - Flipbook - Page 41
DEALING WITH IN-LAWS
When one marries, there is an alteration that occurs in their relationship with their parents.
Genesis 2:24 states that a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife;
and they shall become one. Thus, the concern for parents continues and oftentimes is expressed.
Following are some guidelines for handling these expressions of love in such a way that is
beneficial for your marriage and the new relationship between you and your parents.
The following suggestions by Landis and Landis could provide helpful guidelines for your
establishing your new relationship with your in-laws.
THOUGHTS AND PRINCIPLES ABOUT IN-LAWS
The main facts about in-law tensions are as follows:
1.
The person who causes most of these conflicts is unfortunately the mother-in-law. One
study found that she initiated as much trouble as all the other in-laws combined.
2.
Victims of in-law interference are nearly always the daughter-in-law. Often the motherin-law is jealous of her daughter-in-law for dividing the affection of her son and tries to
win back the central position in his life by alienating him from his wife.
3.
Competition and conflict between these two women reaches its most violent form when
they have to live together in the same house.
4.
Rearing of the children is frequently another area in which the mother-in-law interferes.
5.
A mother-in-law who acts in these ways can be very troublesome, but she deserves your
pity more than your hostility. What this person really needs is the love of those around
her.
PRINCIPLES TO FOLLOW WITH IN-LAWS
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