BBC premarital counseling booklet-1 - Flipbook - Page 28
Our sexuality is a gift from God to be used for procreation and for pleasure. It is an
intimate expression of love; one that deserves responsibility and respect.
BENEFITS OF WAITING UNTIL MARRIAGE
A.
No guilt. God tells us to wait until marriage. Not waiting will create guilt that will
hamper your relationship with God and your sexual partner. By waiting you can know,
because God says so, that Jesus Christ smiles on your marriage bed.
B.
No fear. Waiting insures that you will never have to be afraid, not even to the extent
of one fleeting thought, of having to build a marriage on an unexpected pregnancy.
C.
No comparison. Waiting insures that you will never fall into the devastating trap of
comparing your spouse’s sexual performance with that of a previous sexual partner.
D.
Spiritual growth. On the positive side, waiting will help you subject your physical
drives to the Lordship of Christ, thereby developing self-control, an important aspect
of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Also, if you get married and are later separated
temporarily (e.g., for a business trip), then this discipline early in your relationship will
give both of you confidence and trust in each other during that time of separation.
E.
Greater joy. Waiting insures that there will be something saved for your marriage
relationship. That anticipation of the fulfillment of your relationship in sexual union
is exciting. Don’t spoil it by jumping the gun.
HOW FAR SHALL WE GO BEFORE MARRIAGE?
Given your conviction to refrain from sexual intercourse until marriage, the question
remains: How far shall we go, short of sexual intercourse, before marriage?
A.
A general principal which we feel applies to everyone is the following: That which
has its natural end in sexual intercourse should be held to your wedding night.
1. This means, at the very least, that heavy petting, direct stimulation of each other’s
sexual organs, and mutual masturbation should be out. Don’t build up your
sexual drives and desires to the point of no return, lest your physical relationship
becomes a source of frustration rather than of joy for you.
This also means that you should not engage in any physical activity which will build up the
other to the point of no return. In the context of different problems, that of eating certain
types of food, Paul puts forth the general exhortation that we do not anything which causes
our brother (or sister) to stumble (see Romans 12:13, 21).
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