ARRvol34 master reduced - Flipbook - Page 60
he arrived. He put his phone back in his pocket and looked to Jay,
who had something hovering on his lips. Thankfully his ride showed
up before it could be said.
“It was great to see you, man.” He climbed into the back seat
and let himself be a passenger. He wasn’t unaware of the rumors
about the destruction in her past. She had told him what she could
remember and his tenderness had only grown. He was her present her past didn’t matter.
At home, she stood in the doorway, arms at her sides, with a
half-drunk glass of wine cupped in her palm, her first two fingers
scissoring its stem. He took her in his arms and she was motionless,
limp and small. He could see the state of her studio out of the corner
of his eye as his chin rested on her head. The commissioned mural
she’d been working on for over three months was shredded.
“You said it only matters what I do, not what I think. Not what I
feel,” she said, her voice husky.
“Did I say that?”
“Yes, you did. Things are better in black and white, remember?
Never mind, let’s just drink tonight, ok?”
52
So they drank sitting in front of the tv, staring at some show. Her
mouth was quiet but her mind was a saboteur. The drinks didn’t
work, they only fueled a roiling, unbearable jealousy. What must it
be like to exist in that form, to not be drawn to the colors, to find
your heart’s desire within a closed loop? Then she stood up and
faced him and was not quiet. Violence tore from her mouth and he
weathered the vicious storm of insults with infuriating civility and
earnest pleas about her own good. Having unleashed everything she
could put into words, she shuffled unsteadily to their bed. He went
through the house clearing up bottles and turning off lights. Then
