ARRvol34 master reduced - Flipbook - Page 26
against the gate waiting for me to enter and screaming “MR. Pat! Mr.
Pat!” at the top of their lungs. I’d hurry through the gate, park my
bike and immediately run into any open door I could find to avoid
being mauled by my adoring fans. One child being excited to see
you is cute, five is a bit cumbersome, but hundreds of kids all fighting to jump on you and say hi is a zombie apocalypse nightmare.
After teaching three hour long classes of 150 students each, I
needed a drink badly. Teaching 150 kids at a time is like fighting
the mythical Hydra. Two kids are being disruptive in the back of
class, so you go over to calm them down. In the meantime, two
other groups of kids get restless and start throwing things, so you
run over to stop them, except you have to choose which group to
stop first, so by the time that group is back in their chairs, the other
group is engaged in an all out brawl. This feedback loop of insanity continues, with the kids’ screams and cries growing louder and
louder, until eventually, the bell rings and I run out the door. Repeat
three times in a day and anyone would need a drink.
I pulled up to the Rum Bar in time to get a table and set of stools
that weren’t cracked or breaking and set them up under the Rum
Bar’s blue tarp awning, away from the blazing sun and random
downpours that monsoon season brought. Soon after, my friends
Joel and Wilson showed up. Joel was my coworker and a walking
Australian stereotype; tall, broad shouldered, blonde, foul mouthed,
dimwitted and, of course, drunk. Wilson worked for an American
University as their study abroad coordinator in Saigon, and also
happened to be my best friend from childhood, and also the guy
who gave me the idea to move to Vietnam in the first place.
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The owner came out with a bottle of rum and a block of ice, only
needing to know what kind of soda we wanted. It was always coke
for me and Wilson at the rum bar. They served it in glass bottles and
obviously you never pass on an opportunity to drink glass bottle
coke. Joel ordered a diet coke, which was served from a normal
