ARRvol34 master reduced - Flipbook - Page 25
Real teachers spend hours each night creating lessons, making
handouts, and planning out the exact timing of everything they’ll
do the following day. There were alot of teachers I worked with
like that. But there were far more teachers like me, incompetent.
It’s not that I half assed my job (in the beginning, atleast), it’s that I
am missing those parts of the brain that make someone capable of
teaching. I talk too fast, I’m horrible at public speaking, and children
just straight up don’t listen to me. My supervisors were constantly berating me for either not being able properly plan a one hour
lesson, or having next to zero ability to control a classroom. Also, I
have no clue what the difference between will and shall is, and this
distinction comes up all the time in ESL for some reason.
The excitement for my new profession morphed into perpetual
anxiety. I took to drinking much heavier than I knew was good for
me, and often during times when i should have been preparing lessons. This is not what good teachers do. I was more Cameron DIaz
than Robin WIlliams.
I spent most Saturdays and Sundays laying in bed hungover, and
not seeing the country or experiencing the culture I moved halfway
around the world to be a part of. I repeated a lie to myself often;
that I wasn’t interested in experiencing the sights, history or art in
Vietnam. I’m a night owl. That’s how I experience new cultures, by
going out, meeting locals, and getting trashed with them. I am doing it my way. I am having fun. Ironically, several months earlier I
told myself I was moving to ‘Nam to break away from that approach
towards life.
The day of my Rum Bar incident was a wednesday. I remember
this because Wednesdays were the days that I taught in public
school. From the outside, the school building looked like a max
security prison for children, complete with a 15 foot wrought iron
fence circling it. Everyday when i showed up on my motorbike, hundreds of elementary schoolers would have their faces pressed up
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