ARRvol34 master reduced - Flipbook - Page 14
breathe in, panic, out. Breathe in, sob, breathe out. Breathe in,
breathe in, breathe in—
scream, loud and long.
“Calm down, it’s just a seizure. You’re okay.”
She can’t know what it’s like. She wouldn’t ever say that.
I can’t just stop! My body won’t let me.
Later, before my folks come to the hospital, I hear the paramedics
on their break.
“So I guess that’s what happens when you combine depression
and seizures.”
I guess that’s what happens when you do a shit job of being a
medic, I think. I don’t make a sound.
Twenty-One
On Christmas, I am by myself. I wake. I know it happened.
In the mist of sleep and seizure, I remember—phone lost. no boyfriend. just me.
Gotta solve the problem myself.
I wander half-conscious to a late-night donut shop, hoping no one
rapes me or whatever. It’s a chance I’m gonna take.
6
They’ll have a phone, I think. I find out later that I collapsed on
the floor of the shop.
