VICDOC Summer 2023 - Magazine - Page 73
STA N D I N G AT T H E P R EC I P I C E
the academic year draws to a close,
A shospitals
nationwide are gearing
up to welcome the incoming batch of
interns, marking the commencement of
their medical careers. The class of 2023
stand at the precipice of the exciting yet
nerve wracking transition from medical
student to doctor. Even though internship
is a training wheels stage, the shift in
responsibility, expectations, and workload
feels more like a chasmic leap than a
small step.
My journey into medicine was swift,
yet all-consuming. Having commenced
undergraduate medicine at 18 and
powering through my five-year degree,
balancing employment, research and
extracurriculars, I now find myself at
the culmination of a journey that had
demanded every spare moment of my
teens and early twenties.
Lately, I have found myself reflecting
on the events that drove me to become a
doctor in the first place. Sitting alone in
a foreign hospital after a skiing accident
at 17, where an emergency department
doctor offered hope amid despair.
Speaking with my sister as she lay in
hospital in premature labour at
22 weeks, comforted by a nurse who
brought kindness and empathy rather
than detached pity. My mother, calling
with relief after a cancer scare, thankful
to the gynaecologist who gave her a
preliminary 'all clear' to ease her anxiety.
Before I began medical school, this is
what being a doctor was all about; using
one’s unique knowledge and skills to
bring patients whatever peace they could,
through hope, remedy and empathy.
Alas, somewhere along the way this
vision of the ideal doctor morphed into
worry about taking notes fast enough,
transitioning to an interstate and paperbased system, my efficiency in clinic,
perfect prescribing and most of all, whether
my supervisors will think I’m capable.
I’m struggling to merge this vision of the
perfect intern with those earlier, more
emotional iterations.
I’ve committed to be both, but if it
comes down to it, I’ll choose the latter.
Why? Because in the face of these
anxieties, I remember the demoralised
17-year-old with a shattered joint far from
family, the mother cradling her dying baby,
and the terrified mother of two fearing
the worst. In those moments, it wasn't the
doctor's efficiency, research output or even
specialised knowledge that left a lasting
impression but their humanity.
As the doctor on my team with more
basic tasks and time with patients, I hope
to prioritise the role of a doctor from the
patient's perspective. While I’ll still be
grappling with the demands of efficiency
and aim to excel in the clinical skills
domain, I am committed to preserving the
core values that inspired my journey into
medicine. And I believe I'm not alone in
making this choice.
As we navigate those initial weeks,
stumbling and struggling to find our
footing, I implore patience from those
around us. We are wrestling with a new
professional identity while trying to master
the intricacies of our roles and feed the
passion that brought us here in the first
place. In return, perhaps we can serve as
a reminder of the resilience inherent in
growth and learning, and above all, the
enduring impact of our shared humanity.
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