HUSH - Book - Page 71
HUSH – Breaking the Silence | Victim Support Scotland
The Police were just so sensitive. We were talking on
the way up and then they reassured us just before we went
in. I was very grateful for the respect they showed. They
were very gracious. I found out their names and I told the
leading o cer to thank the inspector and the sergeant.
Her face was slightly red because it had been very
warm. There was a heatwave when she died and the day
before she had been with her friends at the shore, so there
was a lot of sun. It was nice to see her.
There was a book of remembrance for Grace that was
signed by some of her friends at the funeral. One wee girl
had written in it 'I'm not sure who I'm going to have to talk
to now because you are not here.' She was a good listener
to her friends, an emotional listener, and way above her
years, which was her downfall in a way, you know.
At the funeral there are loads of things to sit and think
about. You are the dad and you've got your family there, you
have got your friends there, your neighbours there. How am
I going to act?
You try and compose yourself before it. I meditated for
a while. I prayed. I asked for strength. But at the same time,
I wasn't that bothered, I cried my eyes out. But on the day, I
just seemed to… you just get through it. We were the last to
get into the church. The place was packed out. There was a
great feeling of support for Grace. It was tangible. You
could feel it. You could feel the love.
And the support, I mean my phone didn't stop for two or
three weeks. There was a lot. But I didn't want anybody to
feel sorry for me. My dad came over. He didn't know what to
say. My brothers too. I just seemed to be tuning into some
kind of higher power at the time. It was quite surreal. I don't
have that at the moment in my life and I feel pretty flat at lot
of the time but back then there was an energy, it was hope.
page 71
‘There was a great feeling of
support for Grace. It was tangible.
You could feel it. You could feel
the love.’
People kept talking about the case and justice, but at
that stage I was more concerned about Grace's friends,
that none of them would take drugs. Then the press was
hounding me. I was getting lots of messages from the local
press and national press, STV. I deleted most of it, but the
BBC contacted me. I felt that was an opportunity to be
honest, so I could just get the message out about drugs.
But we didn't actually know exactly what killed Grace
because the post-mortem hadn't been done. It was 12
weeks we had to wait for that.
Thinking back, the lead o cer for Grace's case, he was
just magnificent. He told you that he was there for you, and
you believed it. He is probably a hero of mine. You talk
about heroes; you know rock stars and football stars. I look
up to him. I couldn't speak highly enough of him. He couldn't tell me everything, but he said, “We've got a strong case,
but nothing's guaranteed Stewart.” He did tell me that I
would need to prepare myself for my daughter's character
would be muddied, you know. But you could never have
prepared yourself for what angle the defence went at during the hearing.
At this part of the journey, there was such a lull. It took
1,000 days to get to the High Court in Glasgow. The wait
was Just a very lonely experience. You feel remote, inaccessible, just forgotten. It's a very dark place. The Fiscal's
