oct ewj 24 online - Flipbook - Page 53
The Extended-Blended Family
An Evolving Global Model
by Simon Dermody: MA BA(Hons) Dip.F.T. RDTh. Cert Play. AFT.
Consultant in Child and Family Psychology
The model of the family unit is changing across the
planet, throughout both the developed and the developing world. The multiple evolving pressures on
the traditional nuclear family, have resulted in a fundamental shift in the model of family, across the entire
planet. Transmigration, immigration and emigration,
the ongoing revolution-evolution of gender roles between couples at home and at work, are all resulting
in a fundamental change in what we mean by the
family unit.
• reject your new partner because your partner is a
reminder that your child’s parents will never get back
together again.
The crucially important issue is to allow ALL feelings
to be spoken about and expressed, and OK to talk
about. If this open culture is enabled and encouraged,
children can usually work through the Blending process with their parent, new partner and new siblings.
See this excellent link below for more detailed information and parental guidance to facilitating the
Blending.
The combination of extraordinary external pressures
on couples, results in a cycle of divorce, co-habitation
and family break-up, re-organisation and family
blending, creating a new model of Family:
The Extended-Blended Family
I have named these successful post divorce families as
the “Extended-Blendeds." An Extended-Blended
family combines two family units together, and will
have up to six children or more together, forming a
new Extended-Blended unit. Then the new parent
unit/couple, may well have another child, to show
their commitment to each other and the rest of the
family. This child becomes a step sibling to all the other
children. The family extends out to the brothers and
sisters of the two parents, and the four sets of grandparents.
Author
Simon Dermody
MA BA(Hons) Dip.F.T. RDTh. Cert Play. AFT.
Consultant in Child and Family Psychology
www.globalfamilytherapy.org
The Blending Process
It is crucial that the the new couple, who form the
parental unit of the new blending family, recognise
that blending takes time. It is a gradual process that requires skill and patience for the new parent couple.
All children of whatever age, require time to recover
emotionally from the separation and breakup of their
own parents and original family. When their parent
finds a new partner, the new couple need to be aware
of how their own children are doing in this divorce
recovery process. Are they ready for a new parent figure? Would they welcome a new brother or sister? Or
would they view them as a rival?
Your child might have uncomfortable feelings about
the blended family. Here are some typical examples of
how a child may feel:
• feel sad, angry or jealous that they have to share you
with your new partner
• feel jealous of your partner’s children
• blame you for being the one who broke up the
original family
• feel less important now that you have a new partner
EXPERT WITNESS JOURNAL
51
O C TO B E R 2 0 2 4
